so i'd be paying $400 per quarter, which my student loan will cover.
so it looks like i finally have a solid option. but there's a problem: jeff would be driving about 2 hours to see me, if not more... and he would not be allowed to stay overnight at my dorm! i asked the guy who runs the residence halls and he said it wasn't possible and that jeff would have to leave before 2am. so this would cost jeff 2 nights of hotel rooms, plus driving there, plus dinners and other shit he buys when we go shopping. so that would cost $300 per trip, something he could not afford more than once a month. he just bought a brand new car.
so i sat down and started to revise my plan for college, and looked into the possibility of my loan covering rent costs if i lived in an apartment off-campus. i checked into apartments in flint and they are much cheaper than ones in port huron, with a studio apartment costing me like $320 with heat and water included. there are some nice apartment complexes in the downtown area that have pools and washers and dryers and everything. jeff even told me that he'd pay half of my rent... but i'd still have to have a good job. there is a nice club to work at in flint, but i have yet to check it out. i've heard that it's busy and is very good money. i would have to work there at least 4 days a week, no less than 3, if i decided to work there.. because they have shift requirements. i could easily pay my bills and have a comfortable place to live if i did that, and jeff could come over. but the downside is that i probably couldn't go to school full time, maybe 2 classes at a time or perhaps 3. dancing is an extremely tiring job and it's so hard to focus on school while working in a party environment. i could do it, but only with like 2 classes.
so this is the problem i'm having now. even if my student loan would cover my rent expenses, it wouldn't cover all of it and i still need money for food and internet and other shit, plus my student loan wouldn't cover the security deposit or anything, so i still need money to even get the apartment. i am totally out of money right now and have no way of making it. i have to be out of beth's house by monday, so i can't stay in port huron. next week i'll be moving to mount clemens and staying with adam and autumn, and probably working at some shitty club down in detroit to make some money for moving to flint. but i REALLY don't want to do that again, so i'm considering going back to canada for like 3 weeks and my probation officer won't even know unless i tell him... i have already tested this theory a few times and my lawyer actually told me that the border does not know who is on probation. i am still debating on what i should do, but i think i'd do way better in canada. i'm all stressed out whenever i'm in detroit, so it's harder to make money.
i don't know what to do... but jeff is coming over this weekend and i have a few days to think about everything.
it seems like my mom wants me to come back and live with her again. no, no, no, no, and no. i am not going to get sent to jail next time she has some crazy temper tantrum and freaks out. but the good thing is that she is somewhat helpful now, by signing my financial aid forms and driving me to flint to check everything out, and she even bought me groceries. i don't know why. but i don't want to see her, i just want to be civil with her when we need to take care of business. that sounds really mean but she has been a bad mother and fucked me over bigtime.
well, fuck this goddamn entry... that's all i have to say.